Monday, January 28, 2013

Tuesdays in Twinland: Fighting

I thought this week I'd be wild and crazy. Tuesdays in Twinland is happening on a Monday. That's because tomorrow I will be hosting a guest post by author Ryan Hunter and doing a book review of her YA dystopian inDIVISIBLE. Make sure to stop by tomorrow for that. It's going to be awesome!

So yeah, Tuesdays in Twinland is on Monday this week. I like to live on the edge.

Something I get a lot when people find out I have twins is, "That will be nice when they're older. They'll probably play together and you won't have to entertain them as much."

This sounds great in theory. Thing 1 and Thing 2 do play together a lot (although they also like to play by themselves). As they get older, I'm sure they will play together more and more (at least that's what other twin moms tell me). However, what no one ever thinks about is the fighting.

I'm sure fighting isn't twin specific. Anyone who's ever had siblings or more than one child knows that kids fight, no matter how close or far apart they might be in age. But I feel like with twins--at least my twins--this fighting is heightened a bit.

Okay, a lot. You know how toddlers think everything is theirs? You know how they throw tantrums when they don't get their way? Just imagine two toddlers doing this.

I have two of almost every single toy in my home. When grandparents and such ask me about buying toys for the twins, I always ask that they buy them exactly the same. "Make sure these toys are identical," I tell them.

I don't know why I bother. Because it doesn't matter if the toys are exactly identical. Thing 2 always wants what Thing 1 has.

Thing 1 isn't entirely innocent, but if I'm being honest, it's usually Thing 2 causing trouble. He's the youngest, and definitely acts like it.

Thing 1 goes and gets a toy. There is an identical toy sitting right next to it. Thing 2 goes over to Thing 1, and instead of picking up the identical toy, he grabs the toy Thing 1 has in his hand.

Screaming ensues. Next is the tug-of-war. And suddenly, that toy is coveted above all others. The identical toy will not do. It has to be the one in the other's hands. The fighting lasts either until they are distracted, I feed them, or nap time comes. And they don't distract easily.

Two of every stinkin' toy, and they want the one in their brother's hands.

What I find hilarious is that Thing 2 will steal the toy in Thing 1's hands, then try to give Thing 1 the identical toy. He gets this angelic look on his face, shoves the toy he didn't want at his brother, and says, "This!" But Thing 1 is onto this trick and refuses to fall for it. Thus the tug-of-war.

I guess that's just typical kid behavior. We're working on sharing, with minimal success. If anyone has any great tips on this, they'd be greatly appreciated. We start nursery in a month, and I don't want the twins to become the terrors of nursery.

TWIN MOM TIP: Don't allow yourself to constantly be placed in the role of referee. If bodily injury is occurring, sure, step in. But otherwise, just sit back and observe. Let your twins work it out themselves. Most of the time, if you just let them, they will. These two kids are going to be together for a really long time. They'd better start learning how to work out their differences now.


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