Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Tuesdays in Twinland: They Won't Share Mommy

Before having my twins, I had this vision of how things would be. I would hold both my sons in my arms and rock them gently to sleep, their heads nestled against me, soft breaths tickling my neck

I was wrong on all accounts.

They have never been the type of babies that enjoy getting rocked to sleep. When they are tired, they just want to be placed in their cribs and left alone.

My twins are also not the cuddly type. They love to give me kisses and to sit on my lap. But only for a moment. They are far too busy to spend any real time snuggling with mommy. There's a whole big world to explore, after all.

The last count I was wrong on was that I would be holding both my babies. I always assumed, since they were together every moment for eight months in the womb and have rarely been apart since birth, that they would always want to do everything together. Not so. My kids have always had a serious case of mommy envy. They really hate to share people.

Now the twins are eighteen months, and starting to be a little more willing to cuddle. At some point during playtime, one of the kids--usually Thing 1--will come up to me and say, "Up!" I smile, pick him up, and we cuddle for a few moments. But only a few moments. Because the second Thing 2 sees that Thing 1 is getting mommy attention, he rushes over and demands, "Up!"

I have room on my lap for two children, so I pick Thing 2 up as well. The second he is on my lap, Thing 1 squirms to get down and runs off to play. Thing 2 sees Thing 1 playing, so a few seconds later he scrambled down as well. Thing 1 runs back to me for cuddles. Thing 2 returns. Thing 1 gets down.

It's a viscous cycle, one that usually has me laughing out loud at their antics. It's nice to be so important they don't want to share me.

TWIN MOM TIP: Try to spend one-on-one time with each of your kids at least once a day, even if it's only for a few minutes. When you talk to them, use their name so they know you see them as an individual. Whenever I tell my children I love them, I always try to include their name.

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